Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
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