How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
