It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
