i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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