his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
