nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
