You're completely useless in the revolution.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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