It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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