oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
