I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
