i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
