on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
