do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
