YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
