i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
