Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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