First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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