you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Are my feet made of real feet?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
