You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
