Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
