You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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