i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
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