What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Terrible idea I love it
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
