The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
