the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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