i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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