You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize