we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
