She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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