i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
