Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
