You don't have asthma, your pregnant
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
