I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
