hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
