week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
