I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
