the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
