the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
