I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize