White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Randomize
