So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
