As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
