some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
