it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
