Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
