im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
