Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
