the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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