it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
