My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
