I will die if light touches me.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
