I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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