I'll bet she douches with gravy.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
