Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
