Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
