just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Randomize
