First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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