do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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