I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
