Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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