I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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